Erin's Diary
(a text from Gman, who can be found on the DalNet's #bondageavi channel)

Erin's Diary

I've been into bondage since I was young, but really my first experience wasn't until I was 18. I'm not sure how it got started, but here goes.

I guess when I hit puberty, and my body started changing, so did I. When I was sixteen, six years ago, I was cleaning the house one day, and curiosity got the better of me. I was dusting off my parents clothes dresser and started rummaging around. For me, this was a real change. I'd never even lied to them before. I was always Miss Perfect Daughter. I had to be, with an older brother who would always be pushing me around.

Anyway, I found two video tapes in my mother's dresser. They didn't have any labels or anything, so I thought I'd take a look. Boy was I surprised.

The first one was a copy of two bondage movies. I remember them clearly. The first was called "Office Abduction", and revolved around a secretary being kidnapped from a office building. The other was "Maxie's Debut", and was between a woman and a man, with him putting her into different positions. I only browsed through them at first, but it was exciting to watch and I didn't see anything wrong with them. After all, they were only movies.

I was fairly bright, and got good marks in school, but I didn't put two and two together until I looked at the second movie. Actually it was a home movie, of my parents, my mother in bondage. Dad was on the screen, tying her in different positions, and all she could do was struggle and moan.

I freaked out at first, and dumped them back in the dresser. I felt I had gone too far, and was paying for my curiosity. I felt really guilty, not only for invading their privacy, but this was obviously something sexual. Years of Catholic Doctrine weighing on my soul now.

After a few days, I went back and got the tapes again. This time, I watched them from start to end, all of them. I didn't feel as guilty, but I wasn't sure what to think. It was wierd, and I needed time to think about what was going on.

I couldn't get it out of my mind. I couldn't quite understand why they were engaged in such strange activities. I had to talk to someone. I didn't know what my boyfriend would think of me, so I couldn't go to him. Finally, I went to a friend of mine, Suzie. She was a senior in high school, compared to me being in grade 10. We were there for each other during a lot of problems, even when she thought she might be pregnant. I guess that's why I was reluctant to look at the movies, 'cause I was scared of what might happen.

Anyway, I grabbed one of the movies on night and went to her place. Her father's usually away, and her mother works nights often, so she usually has the house to herself. We used to have a blast in those days, and the parties she used to throw were incredible. Being a teenager should have the requirement "Tear your parent's house apart with a party and be able to put it back together before they notice." Somewhere, someone's laughing at the joke.

Well, we were alone, and I started askig her about what it was like when she had sex. What she talked about was close to what was shown in the tape, so I put the tape in the VCR and started playing. She was confused at first, then clued in, and started telling me about bondage, sort of. I had scarcely kissed a boy at the time, and was suddenly faced with something so perverted was scary. When Suzie talked about it, it was like it was from a text book. She didn't know that much, but it helped to talk about it.

That was my first experience, and from there on, I decided to learn all that I could. The first place I looked was the library, but obviously I couldn't just walk in and start looking around for a How-To-Book on bondage.

I decided to wait a bit, and study the videos when I could. When I had the time and the house to myself, I would sit and watch the movies, often the same way a scientist studies a specimen. It wasn't before long that I realized I was getting turned on by watching them, but by then all barriers of Catholic Doctrine were out the window.

I came for the first time watching those videos. I just started rubbing myself between the legs until I came. The women in the videos didn't look they were in trouble or pain, but were acting and struggling for the sake of it. I started imagining I was one of the women in the video.

When I talked to Suzie, I told her everything I could, and she told me it was fine what I was going through. About how she went through the same thing.

At about the same time, I started going online, mostly for school. Like I said, I was fairly bright, and thought I might be able to find info on bondage on the World Wide Web. What a surprise that was. Newsgroups, home pages, FAQs, it was almost overwhelming.

Soon enough, I started reading about self-bondage. I met Terri over IRC one night, and we became friends soon afterward. She was into self-bondage and was very helpful. I asked her all kinds of questions, and she would always help me with honest answers.

By the time of my high school graduation came along, I was pretty knowledgeable on bondage, especially self, which intrigued me. I turned 18 early in the summer, and as a gift, Suzie bought me a pair of handcuffs. I laughed at first, but thought seriously about how to use them. Since I was eighteen, I went out and got my first bondage movie. I remember it was called "Learning the ropes", about a woman introduced into bondage by another woman. I still have it too, I thought the name was fitting.

But now I had a pair of handcuffs to work with. I tried locking them on in front of me, then locked them on behind me. It wasn't that hard to get out of them, but obviously, without the key it was stuck. Suzie had gotten a really good quality cuff, it had one normal lock, and another to hold the bracket in place. I didn't feel like this was bondage however, it was too simple.

I had since broken up with my boyfriend, and spent a lot of time talking to Terri over IRC, and decided that summer to have my first bondage experience.

I waited until I had the house for a few hours, before I did anything. I locked all the doors and windows, and had everything ready in my bedroom. I didn't have that much really, I didn't want to spend a fortune on something I might decide later I didn't like.

So, I had a length of rope, about ten inches long, two strips of cloth, the handcuffs, a knife, and the key. As per Terri's instrucitons, I had looped a string in the key, the folded the string, and frozen the folds in an ice cube. I was to hang the key somewhere, and when the ice melted, the key would swing down where I could reach it.

I hung the key on my door, where the key was at about my height. There was another foot of string in the ice, but would take awhile before I could free myself.

I was already excited, and was getting moist in my crotch. But, I resolved to finish first, and cum later. I got one length of rope and tied my ankles together side-by-side. I wanted to keep this simple. I could stand, and it wasn't uncomfortable.

I took the cloths and made a gag out of them. I tied knots with one cloth in the centre of the other. I then stuffed the knots in my mouth, and tied the loose ends behind my head. It felt wierd, having a mouthful of cloth, but it wasn't scary or anything.

I sat up on my bed and got the cuffs. I locked my left wrist in first, then took a long look at the key, hanging there, slowly melting. Before any more second thoughts got in, I locked my right wrist in.

That was it. Here I was, tied and gagged by my own hand, waiting for an ice cube to melt. I just sat there, looking at the cube. I was breathing fairly quickly, and was very excited. I was drooling, and found it hard to swallow.

Then the phone rang. It scared the daylights out of me and I screamed! But all I heard was a loud moan. My heard had jumped into my throat while the phone rang, but I realized how effective this gag was. I screamed again and the same muted sound emerged. I was really going now. After that scare, I felt like I have gotten an electrical shock. The Hell with the ice, I'm going to masturbate here and now.

I wriggled around on the bed and brought my legs up. I made a loop with my arms, and pushed my wrists over my feet, bringing them up in front of me. I lay back, and pushed my cuffed hands into my pants. The wetness I found in there. I began rubbing myself. I closed my eyes and fantasized.

I fantasized I had been kidnapped, bound and gagged in a strange room, and left to struggle free. My hips moved to my dream struggles. I called out "HELP!" for real, hearing my own muted "Mmmmphhh!"s. I finally let out one long moan as I came, bound and gagged.

I lay there panting for a few moments, then got up and released myself from what remained of my bonds. I went online and talked to Terri later on. I definetely liked bondage, and told Terri my whole experience in detail. She was a little disapointed that I cheated and got free early. The whole point of bondage was so that you can't get out. But the problem with that is that you have to find a way to stimulate yourself while bound.

Anyway, I started thinking another way to tie myself, and seriously thought about not getting out until the appointed time.

So, the next chance I had, I came up with another plan. I hung the cube from my bedroom door again, but was going to sit with my back to the door. I would be in a chair, so the cube would swing down to my wrists.

I also set up my TV in my room so that it was facing me. I hooked a VCR I had borrowed from a friend to it, so that it would play the bondage movie while I waited. Terri suggested it might keep my mind on the matter at hand. I also brought a full-length mirror from my parent's room so I could see myself while bound. In addition, I wrapped a little duct tape around my slender wrists to prevent chaffing from the cuffs. Another one of Terri's helpful suggestions.

So, I turned on the VCR and went to the chair. The key was hanging on it's hook, a few inches above where my hands would be, at least until the ice melted. I also was wearing only my panties. I'm not the most athletic person, but I do keep in shape. My breasts aren't that big either, but they suit me just fine.

I sat in the chair and bound my ankles together. To add an extra touch, I would rope along the lower bar of the chair, securing my legs to the chair. I gagged myself the same way as before, I loved the feel of it. I then reached behind me, pulled the handcuff chain through one of the chair's arms, then cuffed myself to it.

I sat there for a few moments while watching the movie. I felt excited, and was really wet between the legs. I twisted my wrists slowly in the cuffs. I looked in the mirror and admirred myself. I really looked good, bound, gagged, wearing only simple white panties, which were quite wet at this point.

I was really excited by now. I was grinding my hips and squeezing my thighs, to no avail. I struggled and rattled my chains while the woman in the movie struggled around. I was moaning softly into my gag. I really liked the sound of my own voice, muffled by the thick cloth.

About halfway through the movie, which was only about an hour anyway, my struggles pulled my ankles free. They were still bound together, but I could stand. I really wanted to get my hands free. I stood beside the chair, grasped the back of it with my bound hands, and lifted the chair until I could reach the key. I pulled it right off the hook. Of cource, the moment I got free, I masturbated to a great orgasm.

Terri was again disapointed in me. But she understood I was still a newbie and didn't want to go crazy with it just yet. She told me a way to keep me tied and helpless, and without losing interest.

The next day, I went out and bought a new toy. I really wanted a ball-gag so I went out and bought one. Nothing fancy, one strap through the red rubber ball. Although the strap was quite that, a strap instead of a string through the middle. It had a buckle, and a loop if I ever wanted to lock it on. Terri told me she sometimes uses locks on her gags so she has to wait until later. Her hands will be free, but she'll be hobbled and gagged, and has to wait for a key or something.

I also got more rope, and prepared another release. This one involved an old rotary alarm clock. I would position the clock on the shelf above my bed. I would have the handcuff key on a string wound around the windup key to the clock. When the alrm would sound, the key would turn and slowly lower my release. I tested it out a few times in advance to make sure everything would work fine.

I also tried out a crotch rope. Another one of Terri's ideas, although she uses a chastity belt. I just used two lengths between my crotch, and although it was different, it would provide some stimulation while bound.

When I had the chance, I got everything ready. I set the clock for a half hour. I stripped nude and had three ties on the bed: two for each leg, and one central one for where my wrists would be. That last one had my cuffs tied to them. This time I would not get out until the time had passed.

As an afterthought, I slipped my panties back on. Didn't really know what kind of chaffing I would get, so I thought they would provide some protection.

Lying down, I got my newly bought ballgag. I pulled the rubber ball behind my teeth, felt it pop into place, and tied the straps behind my head, under my hair of cource. There's something really erotic about gagging. I just love the feeling as I take my own voice away. I lust at how my own voice sounds when gagged, just grunts and moans.

Resisting the urge to masturbate again, I reached up, grabbed the handcuffs, and quickly locked myself in place.

This time, I actually did my bondage correctly. I moaned softly as I slowly struggled. Every movement pulled the crotch rope tighter and then released it. It was more like a teasing, not a hard grinding sensation, but soft pressure on my crotch.

This gag was definetly a new sensation. I was drooling, and felt it run down my cheek. I could open my mouth a little more, enough to breathe, but still couldn't vocalize anything.

I closed my eyes and fantisized. I fantasized a boyfriend had tied me down this way, and was waiting in the other room. I had been a bad girl and was being punished. But he would soon come in, pull off the belt and vibrator and fuck me this way. I imagined him over me, plunging himself into my helpless body.

I ground my hips in the air and moaned loudly. I pulled against my bonds to no avail as my first orgasm hit me. I screamed into my gag, but all that came out was a high pitched whine.

Before the key would swing down, I would have another smaller orgasm, brought on by the gentle manipulations of the ropes. I freed myself and thought that this was definetly the most satisfying bondage experience I had had yet.

That was the last time I practised self-bondage at home. Summer was almost over, and I left for an out of province University. Actually, I would end up staying with my friend Suzie. It turns out that she would be at the same university, but didn't particularly like staying in residence. So, my parents and hers pooled some money and we were able to rent a two-bedroom apt. just a few minutes off campus.

It was pretty good. We both got part-time jobs, she was working with the on-campus bar, and I had a job sorting and grading papers with the Faculty of English. The first couple of weeks were pretty wild, with frequent parties and light hazing. We didn't join any sororities or anything, but just enjoyed life as it came.

We had a computer with us, so we could hook up to the University server. I stayed in contact with Terri, and we still talked. She loved to describe to me her last self-bondage adventures, or her next. I missed being able to play by myself. I unfortunetly had left my gear at home, in a locked trunk of cource. But with our schedules, I wouldn't have that much free time, and when I did, Suzie would probably be around too.

As it turns out, I came home from classes one day, and found Sue at the computer. I remeber her first words as I sat down.

"So, you're really into bondage now, eh?"

My heart left into my throat, and all I could do was sit there and blush.

"Guess you didn't know this lovely machine keeps a record of your mail , did you?"

She looked me straight in the eye, and with this playful look, said " Ok, start at the beginning, and don't leave out any details!"

What could I do? I started talking, from when I first found the movies, to my last adventure. Sue sat there taking it all in. It was like I couldn't stop talking. Although I admit, I did turn red and fumble for the right word at certain points, but the basic ideas were all there.

When we were finished, Suzie told me she occasionally had thought about bondage, when I brought it up way back when. She was much more knowledgeable back then, about sex that it, and was curious, but never really had a partner to practice with. She was uncertain about self-bondage, and never tried it.

I said to her, "Well, I guess we both have something to learn, don't we?" We both smiled and giggled at that.

We agreed that we would spent Saturday night tying each other up. We had midterms and papers due, so we agreed to only spent that evening in bondage. That would be two nights away.

I thought long and hard on how to tie my friend. I thought a nice hogtie would be good. I also went out and bought a new ballgag. I knew Sue had a vibrator around somewhere. I didn't know what else to get, so I got another pair of handcuffs. Another small fortune, but I knew it would be worth it.

Saturday night came along, and I found it hard to grade those papers that afternoon. I kept thinking about what position Sue would put me in. I really did spent a lot of time thinking about it too. Bound to a chair, maybe even a hogtie if she read through all my mail. It was hard to concentrate at work, and when I was alone, I would drop my hands to my crotch for a quick caress.

I stopped off for a quick bite to eat on my way back. There's a pizza place on campus that a lot of people go to. There was this serving girl there, a petite asian. Isn't that something, an asian working in an Italian pizza shop. She was really cute too, although I never really thought of myself as a lesbian.

When I ate, I started imagining me tied to a chair, being fed by this young woman. I think she saw me staring at her, and boy did I blush. I quickly finished and headed home.

When I got back, Sue was waiting for me. She had five lengths of rope of different lengths, and a cloth with a knot it. How simple. Sue wasted no time. She told me she'd been waiting and to hurry up. I quickly dropped my things and changed into some sweats. I noticed Sue was wearing some jean shorts and one of those stretchy shirts. I also noticed, she wasn't wearing a bra.

The first thing Sue did was bind my wrists together behind my back. She wound them several times before knotting it, and felt very secure. She also wrapped another rope around my waist, and tied it to my wrists, effectively securing my hands to my back.

She used two more lengths to bind my ankles and my legs together, at the ankles and below the knees. The last length she wound under and my arms, and under my breasts. This pulled my upper arms to my back and had the effect of putting pressure around my breasts.

Sue did a good job, the knots were tight, and I wouldn't be going anywhere soon.

"Now for the final touches." Sue said. She pulled the knotted cloth into my mouth, wrapped the ends behind my head and tied them off securely. She smiled as she stood over me and said, "Have fun."

I only struggled gently at first, testing to see if she made any mistakes in her ropework. But she didn't, this was quality bondage. I spent the better part of an hour rolling around on the floor helpless while Sue watched from a chair. I was really excited, and I know Sue was too, because I saw her nipples poking through the front of her shirt. I swear, if she wasn't modest, I thought her hands would be down her shorts right then and there.

This was great. Here I was, bound and gagged by my best friend, and less than an hour, I'd have her in the same position. I'm sure Sue could smell me from where she was sitting, and the fact that she kept her legs crossed didn't do much to hide her arousal either.

I let out a half sigh, half moan as she said it would soon be her turn. She slowly untied me, feet first, finishing with the gag.

She said she was excited watching me struggle. When she was freeing my arms, she said she hoped I had a good time. I was reluctant to masturbate in front of her, but I certainly did enjoy myself.

When she reached for the gag, she hesitated and said "Boy you really like that, don't you?" I nodded my head and moaned. "Maybe I'll leave it on all weekend so I can study in peace." She laughed and pulled it free from my dry mouth.

I took a few moments to compose myself. I also got Sue to get her vibrator. She came back with two of them, one shiny and metallic, the other was a life-like penis replica. It even had a soft latex layer made to simulate skin.

I got my things and told Sue to strip naked. She was a little hesitant, but complied. She looked really great. She's one of those people who look good with only a little effort.

Anyway, I got her to cross her wrists behind her back, and bound them together securely. She then sat down and I bound her ankles together.

I had her lay on her front then. I didn't tie her thighs together because of what I had planned for the vibrator. I can still see the look of apprehension when I brought her ankles up her wrists. I pulled the hogtie tight enough that her wrists and feet were almost touching. I made sure she wouldn't be disapointed by getting free.

I leaned over her as she first tested her bonds. "Tight enough?" I asked.

She nodded. I knew she couldn't stay in this position for long, no first timer could. I grabbed the ballgag and said to her, "If you read all my e-mail and IRC messages, then you know how much this thing interests me."

Suzie nodded and opened her mouth to receive the gift. I gently pushed the ball behind her teeth and buckled it under her hair. I whispered "Turnabout's fair play, don't you think."

I stood back and watched my friend struggle. She wasn't having much luck with such a stringent position. I was still turned on from before, and watching Suzie wasn't much help.

I got the long, shiny vibrator and leaned over Sue. She was really excited, and I knew she wanted to cum badly. I gently pushed her onto her side, with her front facing me. A little drool dribbled past her mouth where the gag met the edge of her mouth.

"You look great." I said to her. Sue just wiggled and made urgent moans into the gag. I reached foreward and caressed her breasts, feeling the stiff nipple between my fingers. That really got Sue going from the urgent buckling of her hips.

I turned on the vibrator and ran it slowly from her neck, between her breasts, and down to her navel. I paused and looked her directly in the eye. She gave me a long, urgent grunt and pleaded with me through her eyes.

I complied and ran her toy through her pussy. She moaned softly, then her moans became urgent. I turned the vibrator it it's highest setting, and held it against her inflammed clitoris, and leaned over and took her nipple into my mouth and began sucking. She let out one long drawn out scream, and her whole body shook in orgasm. Her wrists clenched and her jaw locked around the ball. Then just as suddenly as it came, it went, and Sue's body went limp in her bonds. A line of drool dropped off her face and onto the carpet.

At this point, I wanted nothing more than to shove the vibrator up my cunt until I started screaming, but I didn't want to strain Sue's back any more, and I didn't know how she'd react to me doing so. Although I admit, fucking her with the vibrator should have gotten rid of any modest thoughts by now.

She was silent as I freed her. When all her bonds were off, I asked her, "What do you think?"

She sat up and smiled. That was all the response I needed. But she surprised me.

"Take your clothes off." she said. I was taken by surprise, and only reponded when she asked me a second time. I did as was told. Sue stretched and went up to her bedroom for a moment. She returned with two pairs of handcuffs and two keys. She also came down to find me nude, sitting among the ropes and gags that held us moments before.

"We're going to practice a little self-bondage." she exclaimed.

What Sue wanted was to sit back to back to me. Our hands would go around each other. We would hang the keys a few feet away, until we decide to struggle over and free ourselves. It sounded appealing to me.

We took turn tying out legs. I did Suzie first, then she did me. When she finished with me, she leaned over and kissed me, thanks for helping her discover such a wonderful world.

We chose our gags, I took the cloth, and she got the ball. Again, we took turns applying the other's restraint. Then we leaned against each other, back to back. We took one look at the keys hanging from a chair in the kitchen. Then reached behind each other, and cuffed our hands together.

The sound of the locks echoed through me. I thought to myself, This can't be happening. But it was. Both Suzie and I were tied back to back in our apartment. As a matter of fact, her hands were cuffed just inches away from my still moist crotch.

At least they were. The next moment, Sue started gently rubbing me in a very sensitive area. I moaned gratefully and returned the favor in full to my lovely companion.

The only sounds for the next few minutes were me and Sue moaning happily and needfully through our gags. We took our time caressing each other and I know she was enjoying it as much as I was. When I came, I moaned long and hard and felt my own juices trickling down onto the carpet. What a mess I was making. Suzie came soon after, gripping her hands together and moaning in orgasmic pleasure.

We sat there for a few minutes catching our breath, which took longer since we couldn't breath through our mouths. Sue motionned with her head to the kitchen, signaling she wanted to get free. I reluctantly agreed.

Sue started rocking from side to side, and I did the same. We soon lost our balance, and we dropped to our sides. I didn't hurt, but it did put our body weight onto one side. We brought our feet together, and after a little repositionning, were lying parallel to the kitchen doorway. We again rocked and began rolling towards the kitchen. What a sensation it was to have Sue's weight crushing me into the carpet. I thought I'd leave an imprint in the carpet from my nipples. I heard Suzie grunt each time I brought my weight on her. I could only imagine what a sight we made.

When we got to the doorway, we repositionned ourselves again, and used our legs to push ourselves into the kitchen. We pushed over to the chair, and went a little past it. The problem now was that we could certainly not sit up, let alone reach the keys in our position. Suzie surprised me yet again by reaching up with her feet to grasp the string between the keys in her toes and brought them down to our level. A little more rolling around, and Sue had the keys in her hands, picking her way out of the cuffs.

What a night that was. After cleaning up, the carpet took the longest, we showered and discussed our experience. Sue loved it, although she was still apprehensive about the self-bondage. That was fine by me. I told her how I didn't want to risk some bondages without outside help. Sue could now be my backup in case any safeties I had prepared failed. She smiled and told me I could also be hers.

Anyway, that's where it all started. Hope you enjoyed it. I've got a lot more expriences to relate to you, but that's another story. :-)

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