Let me tell you a true story about a little adventure I had in the woods a few days ago. Not the most exciting story, perhaps, but I’m sure that many of us don’t get much further with our experiments than I did. And every word of this is true.
When indulging in self-bondge, I’m not really a fan of elaborate set-ups. Fancy dress, ice releases, handcuffs and keys in multiple locations, complicated scenarios that take a lot of setting up – they’re not for me. I much prefer to do it “au naturel”. A bit minimalist, you might say.
I’m a man of late middle age living in the south of England, where it has been uncomfortably hot for several months and the urge to get “out and about” has been frustrated by the conditions.
Eventually a day arrived when it was a little cooler and rain had fallen overnight. I packed my little shoulderbag – all I needed for this adventure was a loop of cord, tied firmly at the ends and glued so it could never be undone, a sturdy zip-tie, and two pairs of scissors. I added a bottle of water and set off to meet my fate.
My destination was a small area of woodland a couple of miles from where I live, with a main path a little way in from the perimeter and lots of side tracks frequented by wildlife. A few dog walkers use it, but hardly anyone else. When I arrived there were two other cars in the car park, but almost immediately a woman emerged from the entrance with a dog, wished me a good morning, and drove off. This was looking better!
I hoisted my bag on my shoulder and set off. I was wearing a T-shirt, underpants and shorts, plus plimsolls and socks. The breeze playing around my arms and legs was pleasant and hinted at what was to come. A quarter of a mile down the track I came upon a middle-aged woman with two daughters and two dogs going in the opposite direction. Again we exchanged greetings and continued. So maybe the family had come in the other car, and the minimalist would have the woods to himself…
About halfway round the roughly circular track, I found a spot that I liked the look of. Mature woodland provided cover on the uphill side, and there were no brambles at ground level. Carefully, I planted one of my pairs of scissors as a backup under a large weed by the side of the main path. I took a side trail for 50 yards, and then planted the second pair of scissors at the edge of a small grassy clearing, still within clear view of the main path.
Next, I took a route behind some bracken parallel to the main path to a large stand of trees, where I stopped behind a huge old evergreen and took a few deep breaths. The sun was shining, and it felt wonderful. I emptied out my bag, took off my shoes, followed by my socks – taking care not to get too many scraps of vegetation attached to them – and placed them in the bag. Then I took a big swig of water.
The T-shirt came off next. I love the feel of the sun on my bare skin, so I took a deep breath and slowly peeled off shorts and underpants. Now completely nude, I packed my clothes in the bag and hung it at head level from the stump of a dead branch. All that was left was the cord and zip-tie.
I fastened the zip-tie loosely, inserted my left wrist into the cord loop, and threaded the other end of the loop through the zip-tie. Then came the moment of truth. I gave little Willy a stroke and a tweak – he’d been such a good boy, after all. Then I put my hands behind my back, inserted my right wrist through the free end of the loop, and pulled the zip-tie tight. Minimalist bondage!
Naked in the woods, unable to cover up, clothes out of reach, and the only thing I could reach with my hands was my buttocks. I caressed them carefully, revelling in the soft feel of my own flesh. And now for a little stroll.
I slowly made my way to the clearing, mindful of all the sensations. The sunshine dappled across my shoulders, the feel of the soft dry grass beneath the soles of my feet and between my toes, the gentle breeze wafting around areas it would not normally have access to; Little Willy quietly asking for the attention I couldn’t give him. And just a little bit of risk to raise the stakes. Wonderful feelings. This is why I do outdoor SB!
As I reached the clearing, it nearly went all wrong. Crouching down to retrieve the scissors, I heard a noise in the distance and looked up. A hundred yards away, a jogger was approaching along the main path, accompanied by his dog! To make matters worse, I had a sudden attack of cramp in my left calf muscle. I panicked, and scrabbling for the scissors, fell over backwards. What a sight I must have looked on my back and elbows with one leg pointing skywards and bottom open to the four winds while trying to free my hands! But alongside the panic I felt a surge of excitement…
Somehow, I cut through the cord, releasing my hands. I limped as quickly as I could back to “my” tree, and hid behind it. Soon, the jogger went past, and didn’t even glance in my direction. He couldn’t have seen me at all. But I still thought I could hear something, so I quickly pulled down my bag and got dressed as quickly as I could.
When I was satisfied that the coast was clear, I returned to the main path, retrieved the second pair of scissors, and walked back to the car park. Ironically, I didn’t pass a soul on the way.
Next time I do this adventure, hopefully next week, I must find a spot that’s a little more secluded. Walk a bit further dressed only in my minimalist cord and zip-tie. And, if there is a risk of discovery, I hope it will be by a sympathetic lady… without a dog…