|by Aussie TV bondagelover|
|This page first appeared on Helpless's website and is show here form information, education & dissemination only|
true story:In which I find myself in a real bind!
This is a true experience that I would like to relate to your fellow self-bondage enthusiasts and you. I’ll describe how I dressed, tied and gagged myself in case others wish to give it a go. But be warned, sometimes the best laid plans of mice and men….
It happened a few years ago, while I was experimenting with living out of home with a few other students from my university. Since then, I have moved back home, living with my parents just until I graduate and get a job because living out of home is not cheap!
I was renting with two other female flatmates, N and T, neither of whom knew of my kinky special interests – these I kept firmly to myself. They were and are interesting, intelligent people whom I could talk to about most anything with the obvious exception of bondage, plastic or rubber etcetera.
One evening, I’d gotten myself thoroughly turned on by reading some new bondage magazines, which I had just gotten in the mail from ‘Harmony Communications.’ (Check out their web site, it is really great) Anyway, after I’d finished reading the latest issue of Bondage Life, I just HAD to tie myself up!! ( Isn’t that a familiar feeling to us all? )
So I started out by picking out some clothes to wear. To digress for a moment, I am male but I love to crossdress in sexy, funky girls clothing. I love to wear girls clothes, especially the fetish kind ( usually shiny PVC ) when I tie myself up, because then once I have finished tying myself up, I can fantasise that I am a beautiful Oriental girl tightly and inescapably bound and gagged. I have just been captured by cruel Chinese pirates, to be sold into slavery, destined for the brothels of the mysterious, exotic Far East, to become the unwilling plaything of the rich. They have ordered me to tie myself up tight for their entertainment. I do not wish to be beaten so I cooperate. Besides, this could be fun…
As seductively as possible, I put on my PVC zip-up panties, ( from ‘Honour’ of London ) and matching bra style top from the Australian jeanery ‘Westco.’ I slipped on a one-piece sleeveless lace body suit over these. Lastly, I pulled on and zipped up my sleeveless black PVC dress, also from Westco over a red PVC skirt. I look absolutely stunning, not to mention extremely tarty in this outfit. It is one of my favourite outfits, which I wear often when putting myself in bondage.
After dressing, I applied some makeup to transform my appearance almost totally. Waow, I looked so good! Very good! Very sexy and feminine!
I’d been experimenting with elbow ties recently without much success for various reasons, not the least of which was the difficulty of tying my elbows behind myself. Additionally, I am not an especially limber person and up to then, have always had trouble making my elbows touch. I have noticed the more often you work on exercising your arms to get the elbows closer together, the more supple and limber you become – I can now get them close enough ( 2 inches separation ) to really be able to cinch the ropes properly – this was ultimately to lead to my downfall, the first time I got the whole thing right too!
I’d started out as usual, by tying on a nice tight crotch-rope on my self. I love crotchropes, they feel great! Sometimes I really wish I WAS female, just so I could experience what must be the wonderful feeling of a well-tied crotch-rope bisecting my puss and providing the ultimate in "hands-off" stimulation!
So far, so good.
Then I tightly bound my legs together, at my ankles and just above the knees as well as my thighs and cinched all these. Then I made a small slipknot ‘noose’ and attached it to my ankles – this would be the coup de grace, so to speak. I was to pass my bound hands through this as best as I could and then pull tight ( This was before I’d discovered Lillans site and the ‘Super Hogtie’ technique described within, which I now use all the time to bind my hands together, because it is much easier and a lot less strenuous ) At this point, it was all coming together pretty well – I had the feeling this was going to turn out to be a good one ( bondage ) Just how good, I was soon to discover….
The next step was to gag myself. I pushed the big 2" ball of my harness gag into my mouth and strapped everything up just as tight as I could. Just to make sure it wasn’t coming off too quickly, I padlocked the 2 straps into place and placed the keys high out of reach on the kitchen shelf. I have to gag myself before tying my arms because once I have finished tying them, even with my hands still unbound, I cannot reach the straps of my gag.
After gagging myself, I began binding my arms tightly together to my body. I started off by tying a bowline below my ‘breasts’
To form these, I had wadded up old stockings under my bra and shaped them to suit, providing myself with a really very nice looking bust. Very sexy under the tightness of my PVC dress – plenty of curves in all the right places! I am not a big guy and have a very slim, almost feminine figure so it is easy for me to make myself up to look like a woman. Many of my friends, especially those of the female persuasion, have commented what nice slim legs I have and what a feminine build I have. If only they knew…
Then I wound the rope very tightly above and below my ‘breasts,’ 4 or 5 loops each. The reason I tie these tightly is twofold. One, so they won’t loosen and slip and; two, because I like it like that! I love very tight bondage, the tighter the better. I tied the ropes so tightly, they really dug into my arms. The ropemarks they leave can last for quite a while so it’s not something I do too often in summer! ( for obvious reasons )
Once I had about 10-15 feet left, I tied a knot, right in the middle to the lower of my 2 breast ropes and passed the dangling ends above my right shoulder and over behind. I passed the rope through the breast ropes behind my back and back up towards my left shoulder and back over again in front. Again, I looped the rope under and over the upper breast rope and passed them over my shoulders as before and tied the ends off, in front of me. This had the effect of forming a simple but tight upper body rope harness that would not loosen or slip. It looks and feels great too!
I still had a couple of feet left after tying it all off, so I passed the ends under through the "T-junction" of my crotch-rope at my waist and pulled upwards, tightening everything up considerably. Finally, I tightly knotted it all up.
I set about roping up my elbows. This is how I used to ( and still do ) do this. I tie a relatively heavy metal snapclip to one end of the 15 or so foot length of rope before I begin. The reason I do this is so I can pass the clip through the door handle and I can then keep tension on the rope or to cinch them up as required. The other reason is that when cinching everything up, I can use its weight to swing it over my back and over my elbow ropes then repeating, cinch the whole thing up.
I fashioned a small bowline and attached it to my left arm, just above the elbow. After placing the snapclip on the door handle, I hopped over to the other side of the room, trailing the rope out from my hands to keep the tension tight where I had left a swivel chair running on castors.
What I do is this: It is hard to explain in words but I’ll try anyway. On this occasion, I wound the rope around and around my elbows ( I tie my hands in the same manner too ) by turning my self around and around – which is easy to do when my feet are unbound because I can pass my feet over the rope before making the next loop. When my feet are bound, as they were on this occasion, I have to sit down on the chair and swing my feet over the rope, which I keep tight by holding it in my hands. Then I turn around , looping more rope around my hands or elbows and so forth. I repeated this until about 4-5 feet of rope was left. My elbows were now tightly bound together with maybe only 2-3 inches separating them. At this point it was feeling really good, not pinching my skin or too tight so I pressed on…
I stood in front of the full-length mirror on my bedroom door so I could better see what I was doing. Swinging the rope and that weight over myself may sound easy but it’s not. It really does take a lot of practise, which I had already had. What I aim to do is to let the weight land on my back, just below my neck, whilst bent almost double. Then I slowly straighten upwards and let the weight of the clip slide the rope over and downwards. The breast ropes in back do get in the way but with the weight of the clip on the end of the rope, its not too much of a problem.
I’d already attempted elbow ties but none were successful for a number of reasons
After a few initially unsuccessful attempts I finally succeeded in getting the weighted rope end to pass over my elbow tie. I then repeated this, swinging the rope end over and over several times, each time cinching my elbow tie tighter by hanging the snapclip off the doorhandle, and pulling hard on the rope, to tighten the cinch as much as I could. I repeated this several times until I’d cinched my elbow ropes very tightly together. So tightly, it would not ‘spring loose.’ I estimated that, at best, only 1 ½ inches separated my elbows. I would have to cut myself free from this one. By then, there were still about 2 feet dangling free, the remainder, tightly jammed in the cinch rope, securing my elbow ropes together.
Movement was even more restricted because of the tight ropes lashing my arms to my body. I’d tied them as tight as I could.
Quickly, I bound my hands behind myself in the same manner as described above, cinching them as well. Additionally, I can tie my hands so I cannot pick the knots free with my fingers. Its not that easy, but not that hard either to do so.
Before tying my hands and fashioning the bowline, which I pass over my left wrist, I ensured that there were about 6 to 8 inches dangling from the bowline slipknot. The 2 rope ends both need to be that long so I can make the knots described below. Once I’d completed cinching my wristropes together, there was still about that much length left from the cinched up ropes binding my hands together.
I took both ends, and, with my fingers, managed to fashion the first stage of what I knew would be a granny knot, passing the 2 ends over each other. Then, while holding one end in my fingers, I placed the other end ( with a small loop in it, so it would not pull out of the drawer, once I’d shut it ) in the drawer and shut it. I then pulled hard to tighten it out of reach of my questing fingers. Then I repeated the same procedure to finish the knot. Again, I placed the rope end in the drawer and shut it and pulled, tightening the knot considerably - and well out of reach! I repeated the same procedure to form the second knot and knotted this just as tightly. I would now need the knife to cut myself free from this also.
I then swung the weighted end of my elbow cinch under and back over my bound wrists, letting the weight of the metal clip pull the rope though between my hands and elbows. It is difficult, but with patience and practise is possible.
In order to make things more difficult ( and interesting for myself), I’d left the knives on the kitchen floor. Once I had hogtied myself, I would then have to some how struggle off the comfort of my bed, and wriggle the short distance to the kitchen in order to access them so as to free myself.
I had left two knives on the floor. One short, to cut my hogtie rope and my hands free. The other, much longer kitchen knife for my elbow tie should I be successful tying this, which in this case it was – too much so!
Before hobbling over to my bed, I pushed the door open by dint of using my hands to push the door handle down thus opening the door. I did not want to hogtie and gag myself then find I couldn’t open the door! Bound and gagged as I would be, (soon about to be in my hogtie) no way I’d have been able to reach up that far to open it, much still less call for help. Not to mention the acute embarrassment of being found like this the next morning!
Once I’d finished tying myself up, I spent some time admiring myself in the mirror. A tiny, exquisite and very tightly tied up Oriental girl peered back at me, wide eyed at her predicament, the cruel white ropes starkly contrasting with the black PVC dress and lace tights she was wearing. ( Just to digress for a moment, I LOVE Asian bondage! I think there can be more few beautiful sights than a tightly bound and gagged Oriental girl. )
Bound hand and foot, I hopped over to the bed and flopped down on it, panting for breath through my gag from my exertions. After resting for a few minutes and ecstatically wriggling around, savouring the feel and sheer tightness of what was easily my best bondage to date, I prepared to commit the coup de grace.
I lay on my back and my legs backwards at the knees as far as I could. Once I had pulled the hogtie rope with that slipknot ( with 2 loops in it for a little extra comfort ) on the end of it free from where I had temporarily tucked it in between my calves, I rolled over on my side. After a little bit of struggling, I managed ( somehow ) to pass my wrists through the slipknot and by way of pulling hard, backwards on my legs, tightened it around my already bound wrists.
I was now effectively and almost totally immobilised, in easily the tightest self-bondage I had put myself into. It was not the tightest of hogties due to the need to make the wrist slipknot large enough to pass my hands through, But it was still a hogtie for all that, with about a foot and a half of rope separating my bound hands and feet.
Only a fellow enthusiast will be able to understand how I felt. Oh, but it was good! The ropes really were extremely tight, especially those lashing my arms together, the ropes digging deeply into my flesh. My legs were similarly immobilised – once I completed my hogtie, both my knee and thigh ropes tightened up, pinning my legs securely together. The feeling was very intense.
I lost myself to my fantasy ( no way I would be escaping the brothels of Macau or Hong Kong! Escape was impossible! ) and the tightness of my ropes. Eventually, it was too much for me – I came and came in the most incredible orgasm I had had for somewhile. Very rarely can an orgasm achieved this way or by masturbation can be almost as good as making love, but on this occasion it was!
Eventually, after half an hour or so, I decided I’d had enough, partly because my crotchropes were becoming really rather uncomfortable due to their tightness but primarily because I could feel the creeping onset of numbness in my hands.
I managed to wriggle off the bed and on to the floor, with relatively little difficulty. However, because I had hogtied myself so tightly, progress to the kitchen was painfully slow, I had to be so careful not to make too much noise or else… By the time I reached the kitchen, my hands were beginning to get very numb indeed. Believe me, I was very glad to reach the knives I’d left lying on the floor! As soon as I’d managed to pick up the shorter of the 2 knives, I set about cutting myself free. No way I wanted to become an Asian sex slave! The brothels were beckoning, the short sea voyage almost over.
It was the work of moments to cut the ropes binding my hands – and not a moment too soon for I was beginning to experience real difficulty manipulating the knife, because by then, I’d lost most of the feeling in my right hand ( I am right-handed )
I picked up the second, much longer knife so as to finish the job of escaping from those cruel pirates. By then my hands were both almost numb and I was beginning to panic. By now, all I wanted was to be free of the merciless ropes holding me prisoner. Frantically, I began sawing away at my elbow ropes – cutting them was the whole key to escape. Bound as I was, unless I freed my elbows, I would be staying bound and gagged for the duration. I’d tied my elbows together so tightly, that even with my hands free, I still could not move them much more than a few inches to either side. Therefore I would unable to untie myself unless I freed myself from my elbow ropes.
I sawed away, without making any real impression on the ropes lashing my elbows together. They stayed as tight as ever. I also had no feeling left in my fingers, so the knife kept slipping from my fingers. Oh no! No, no I don’t want this! Please let the ropes come free! A few moments later, I conceded defeat – I just could not gain enough purchase on the knife to cut the ropes at all. Can you just imagine how I felt? Panic and sheer horror in addition to the growing realisation I would have to prevail on my ( female ) housemate to free me. Desperately, I struggled and wriggled around on the cold heaving deck of the big Chinese pirate junk hoping against hope the ropes might somehow fall free but to no avail. I had done far too good a job of tying myself up. I was getting just too skilled at this…
The knowledge that this was real bondage, that I would not soon be freeing myself was too much for me – I came again. It was not as intense as my first orgasm, but still a good one nonetheless.
Eventually, I had to face up to the cold, hard reality of the situation – unless I was willing to suffer absolute humiliation at the hands of my housemates, I would be staying tied up for the duration. I felt absolutely mortified that this had happened. My worst nightmare was about to become grim reality. My dirty, kinky little secret was to be secret no longer.
I knew I would have to ask her to help me and untie me because I had, by now, lost all sensation in my hands– not a pleasant feeling too, I might add.
Slowly, very slowly, head already hanging in shame, I managed to totter to an upright position. Wearily, I hopped up the hallway to N’s bedroom door. I hesitated for a few moments, acutely aware what was coming.
Tap, tap. Reluctantly, I knocked on her bedroom door. Distantly, I heard N call out, in puzzlement, "Whos there?"
Tap tap, I knocked again – it was all I could do. Gagged the way I was, I was incapable of any coherent speech whatsoever.
Impatiently, with a touch of annoyance, "OK, I’m coming, I’m coming!" I cringed, knowing what her reaction was likely to be. The door flung open in my face.
N’s eyes widened like saucers when she saw me shamefacedly standing there, in my PVC dress, ropes encircling my body and that big red ball of my harness gag so effectively muffling any speech.
"OH My God!!!" she loudly exclaimed, shock and disbelief written all over her face. Her eyes examined my bound and gagged form. "WHO did this to you?!?’ Then, disbelievingly, "You did this, you tied yourself up?"
Shamefacedly, I nodded.
"Are you OK?" she asked
Suddenly, the bizarre scene before her was too much for N and she lost control. Giggling hysterically, she shook with barely suppressed laughter, staring at me all the while.
I frantically mmphh’d, trying to draw her attention to my plight.
Once again, I cringed in total embarrassment and humiliation as my other housemate, T, appeared in the hallway, having been woken by N’s laughter. She gasped in shock upon espying my PVC dress, tights and my bondage. She also began to giggle too.
This was proving to be even worse than I had feared. Yet, strangely, I was also very aroused by the whole ridiculous situation. Though I certainly couldn’t work out why!
Eventually, it occurred to them to ask if I was OK.
I shook my head – no!
"Oh, of course you can’t speak!" This was enough to set them off again. Giggling, T said, teasing me, "I think I like you much better like this!"
"Maybe we should just leave you like this!!"
"Now that would teach you a lesson, to wake us like this!" chortled T.
Even now, years later, I can still vividly recall the whole conversation.
N’s slim fingers picked at the straps of my harness gag, before realising she couldn’t get it off because of the padlocks holding it in place. Once again she cracked up. "Hey, M’s padlocked the buckles in place! I can’t get them off!"
"Where’s the keys?"
Stupid question! How am I supposed to be able to tell them, if I cannot get the gag off! As if realising my thoughts, N and T looked at me in consternation.
"Mmmmphhhh" I squawked, jerking my head in the direction of the kitchen. Just to emphasise my point, I began hopping in the direction of the kitchen, desperate to get the ropes off my elbow and restore circulation to my now totally numb hands. How to make them understand this, tis the big question!
N and T quickly helped me towards the kitchen, partially carrying me by the arms.
Once inside the warmth of the kitchen, I indicated the top shelf with my head, "mmph’ing" for added emphasis.
"Up there?" N asked
I frantically nodded – Yes, yes!
N stood on her toes and scanned the top shelf in search for the keys.
"Ahh! Got them!" she triumphantly exclaimed.
I sagged in relief, glad my ordeal was mercifully about to end. At this point, all I wanted was to be untied and to escape to the privacy of my room.
However, N had other ideas. Smiling beautifully, mockingly dangling the keys before me, she casually placed them on the bench and bustled around the kitchen, unhurriedly fetching the coffee cups etcetera and putting the kettle on before attending to me. By now, my jaw was also beginning to ache pretty badly – I’d been tightly ballgagged like this for the past hour now. Click, Click! Giggling and snickering, N unlocked the padlocks and unbuckled the tightly strapped straps of my gag. Grinning, she eased the ball of the harness gag out of my mouth.
Ohhh, Relief at last! "Untie me quickly please! My hands are really numb now! I can’t feel anything anymore!" I asked. N and T must have heard the urgency in my voice for they hurried to comply. T leant down and began picking at the knots of my ankle ropes while N picked up the long kitchen knife.
Quizzically, she stared at it before gently testing the sharpness of the blade with her fingers. " Hey, this knife is really blunt! No wonder you couldn’t free yourself!" she exclaimed. Oh no, I thought, If not for that one tiny little lack of attention to detail... Hastily, she sharpened it before cutting my elbow ropes.
I cannot even begin to describe the feeling as the severed ropes slid off me. The relief was immense, I can tell you. Almost immediately, feeling began returning to my hands. Though I could not believe how much they were tingling as blood rushed back into my hands. I had to let them finish untying me because my hands were tingling too much to be able to do anything. Eventually, the last ropes slithered off me. At long last, I was free. There will be no bonus for the pirates tonight!
After my hands had stopped tingling we all sat down for a cup of coffee, with both girls pumping me for information on my bondages and my crossdressing. I could not believe how nice and understanding they were about it all. They were just so interested about it all especially N, who had always been the more outgoing and extroverted of the two. They wanted to know how I had managed to tie myself up so well like that . Why I liked bondage so much, why I liked wearing PVC and girls clothes etc etc. I remember the way we sat there talking and drinking endless cups of coffee until the very small hours of the morning. I felt so comfortable and relaxed sitting there in my lace tights and PVC dress, chatting with them.
N even tried on my gag at one stage although T wouldn’t much to our disappointment. I have to admit she looked absolutely wonderful sitting there, mouth tightly gagged and this silly goofy expression on her face. She even consented to letting me tie her hands, arms and feet as well. We left N tied like that for half an hour or so before untying her, much to my everlasting regret. She said she wanted to see how it felt. Now that really gave me a hard-on the likes of which I could not believe. Unfortunately, T would not let either of us tie her up at all, not even her hands.
I’d love to be able to say this was the start of a beautiful bondage relationship between N and myself but it wasn’t to be because she never did let me tie her up again, even though I asked her a couple of times if she wanted me to tie her up. N told me she enjoyed the experience and sensation of being tied up at the time, it was fun and different, but she really just wasn’t into it (bondage ) at all.
However, it wasn’t all bad news, they were much more tolerant and supportive of myself and my sexuality after this, even to the extent of letting me trying on and wearing their dresses around the house. Occasionally, after I had completed the job of tying my arms and legs together, I would get N to tie my hands behind my back ( I showed her how ) so I could relax in front of the TV following dinner – but that was the extent of her involvement in bondage. Watching feature movies became much more fun for me, while inescapably and helplessly tied up.
I don’t know how others feel, but for me bondage is great stress therapy. I don’t have to do anything or think while tied up. I can just relax and lose my self to the sensations of the ropes binding me.
Just a couple of points – the above self-bondage may sound easy but it’s not! My advice, before rushing off to try the hogtie described above, is to practise as much as possible before attempting a scene like this one. Each different tie I described should be practised singly by themselves in turn, before trying to combine these all together, to create the above self-bondage hogtie, particularly the tying of the hands and elbows behind yourself. But once you get the hang of it all – that’s when the fun really begins!
Additionally, I really feel that it is so important to pay attention to detail such as making sure the right doors are open, knives are properly sharpened ( !! ) and so forth. Unless you want to end up like I did!! It’s also not a good idea, especially if inexperienced, to be alone when attempting any kind of self-bondage scene. At worst, ensure access is available to a phone with an emergency service number in the auto dial memory, if all else fails. Better to be embarrassed than severely injured or dead… They’ve seen it all before anyway…
At this point, I hate to sound totally pedantic, but I’d just like to say that self-bondage, especially rope self-bondage really can be extremely dangerous! The only reason I’m saying all this is because done right, self-bondage can be one of the most pleasurable activities ever. But should something go badly wrong, it can be hell on earth. There have been a number of deaths from scenes gone wrong – and can cause intense embarrassment for the unfortunate family and relatives involved, particularly if it makes the news. The bizarre nature of such deaths frequently ensures it makes the news. 15 minutes of posthumous fame for all the wrong reasons. The reason is simple – the nature of self-bondage is just that – it is usually practised privately by its exponents, who are frequently alone by themselves wherever they are at the time.
It is quite easy to cause permanent damage to your hands and feet, including the possibility of gangrene if the circulation is shut off for too long.
Also, a reasonably high level of fitness is required for highly strenuous self-bondage scenes like the one I have just described above – especially if gagging yourself. At the time when the above scene occurred, I was still young and didn’t know it isn’t a good idea to be so tightly gagged like that because of the difficulty of breathing during such strenuous scenes. I think it is best, if you absolutely must be gagged, to wear a simple cloth gag so you can more easily breathe around it.
And NEVER tie ropes right around the throat!! It is all too easy for asphyxiation and eventual death to occur.
All it takes for self-bondage to be totally fun and extremely enjoyable is to use a bit of common sense and to take great care when flying ‘solo.’ There really is an infinite amount and variety of positions and scenarios available – all it takes is a bit of thought and imagination…
Happy tying and ‘tight ropes…’
Aussie TV bondagelover
NB: Because this is a true story, I have used initials to protect the privacy of my old housemates, whom I still keep in touch with.